thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
