This girl is more easily done than said...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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