You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
