he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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