We're facebook friends in real life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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