you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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