"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
