The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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