Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Watching her eat just hurts me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
