If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
