Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
