Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize