even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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