alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
