I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
