btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
