Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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