I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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