Tell her she can't have a vagina
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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