look no pants
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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