he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
