Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
