you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
