can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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