ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
