Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
