I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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