Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
