maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
