Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
