so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
