I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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