Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
