the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
