If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
