The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
