Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
