are you so shy because you have an std?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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