I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
