smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
