why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
