I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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