Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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