i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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