how can u be prego again
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize