I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
