weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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