All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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