getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
