My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He passed out mid-signature
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
