ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
