He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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