Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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