Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
