Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize