But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my shit smells like andre
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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