ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
