A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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