It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
