I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
