i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
