No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
