it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
