how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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