It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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