im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
